Wendy Minks

Jul 04 2023

How to Respond to Narcissist Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic employed by narcissists to undermine the victim’s perception of reality. It can be emotionally distressing and challenging to deal with. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore effective strategies to respond to narcissist gaslighting and regain control over your thoughts, emotions, and well-being.

Understanding Narcissist Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a narcissist undermines the victim’s confidence in their perceptions and memories. By distorting reality and instilling doubt, the narcissist seeks to gain power and control over their target. Understanding the tactics and motivations behind gaslighting is crucial to formulating effective responses.

Narcissist Gaslighting: Recognizing Gaslighting Tactics

To effectively respond to narcissist gaslighting, it’s important to be aware of the common tactics they employ:

Denial and Contradiction: The narcissist denies events or conversations that took place, even when confronted with evidence. They may twist the truth or directly lie to make you question your memory.

Discrediting: They question the victim’s memory, sanity, or judgment, making them doubt their perceptions. They may say things like, “You’re overreacting” or “You’re too sensitive.”

Blaming and Projection: The narcissist shifts blame onto the victim or projects their negative traits onto them. They may accuse you of things they are guilty of themselves.

“The only person who cannot be helped is that person who blames others.” – Carl Rogers

Minimization: They downplay the victim’s feelings or reactions, making them feel like they’re overreacting or being too sensitive. They may dismiss your emotions as irrelevant or irrational.

Respond to Narcissist Gaslighting

Trust Your Intuition

Recognize that your feelings and perceptions are valid. Trust your intuition and instincts about what feels true to you, even if the narcissist tries to convince you otherwise. Develop self-trust by acknowledging your emotions and experiences.

Educate Yourself

Learn about gaslighting and narcissism to gain a better understanding of the dynamics at play. Knowledge is power, and being informed can help you recognize manipulative tactics and respond more effectively. Research reliable sources read books, and seek professional advice.

Establish Boundaries

Set clear boundaries and communicate them assertively. Clearly define what behaviors you will not tolerate and be consistent in enforcing these boundaries. Let the narcissist know the consequences of crossing those boundaries. Stick to your boundaries and don’t allow them to be manipulated.

Maintain a Support Network

Seek support from trusted friends, family, or support groups who understand narcissistic abuse. They can provide validation, empathy, and objective perspectives, helping you stay grounded in reality and providing emotional support during difficult times. Share your experiences and listen to their advice.

Practice Self-Care

Engage in self-care activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This includes exercise, mindfulness, relaxation techniques, pursuing hobbies, and prioritizing your own needs. Self-care helps build resilience and protects your overall well-being. Take time for yourself and focus on activities that bring you joy and peace.

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”
— Mandy Hale

Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking therapy or counseling from professionals experienced in narcissistic abuse. They can provide guidance, support, and strategies to cope with gaslighting and heal from its effects. eTherapyPro, an online therapy platform, offers convenient access to experienced therapists who specialize in narcissistic abuse. They can provide a safe and confidential space for you to process your experiences, develop coping mechanisms, and regain your sense of self.

Use Assertive Communication

When confronted with gaslighting, it’s important to respond assertively. Clearly express your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries without becoming defensive or aggressive. Use “I” statements to assert your perspective and avoid getting caught in their manipulative tactics. For example, say, “I feel hurt when you dismiss my emotions” or “I remember the conversation differently, and my memory is important to me.”

Document Instances of Gaslighting

Keep a record of gaslighting incidents to help validate your experiences and combat the narcissist’s attempts to rewrite history. Write down specific instances, dates, and any evidence that supports your version of events. This documentation can serve as a reminder of the gaslighting tactics and provide clarity when you start doubting your memory or sanity.

Seek Professional Support

If you find it challenging to navigate the complexities of narcissist gaslighting on your own, seeking professional support can be invaluable. Therapists who specialize in narcissistic abuse can provide guidance, validation, and specific coping strategies tailored to your situation. eTherapyPro offers a range of online therapy services, connecting you with qualified therapists who can support you through your healing journey.

Focus on Self-Validation

Gaslighting often erodes self-confidence and self-esteem. Counteract this by practicing self-validation. Remind yourself that your thoughts, emotions, and experiences are valid. Trust your judgment and resist the gaslighter’s attempts to diminish or invalidate your reality. Engage in positive self-talk, affirmations, and self-compassion to rebuild your sense of self-worth.

Set Emotional Boundaries

Gaslighting can be emotionally draining, so it’s crucial to set boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being. Limit the amount of time and energy you spend engaging with the narcissist. If possible, create physical distance or minimize contact altogether. Focus on surrounding yourself with positive and supportive influences that uplift and empower you.

Prioritize Self-Healing

Recovering from narcissist gaslighting takes time and self-care. Prioritize your healing journey by engaging in activities that promote self-discovery, self-expression, and personal growth. This may include journaling, practicing mindfulness or meditation, attending support groups, or exploring creative outlets. Find what brings you inner peace and helps you reconnect with your authentic self.

Conclusion for narcissist gaslighting

Responding to narcissist gaslighting requires strength, resilience, and a commitment to your well-being. By trusting your intuition, educating yourself, establishing boundaries, seeking support, practicing self-care, and utilizing professional help, you can navigate the challenging dynamics of narcissistic abuse and regain control over your reality. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. eTherapyPro is here to support you on your journey to healing and empowerment.

Sep 17 2018

Panic Disorder – How to Tell, What to Do!

Panic disorder is an anxiety disorder where the person suffers from frequent, sudden, panic attacks. These may last for several minutes, some may be longer, and can happen anywhere. While the feelings they bring on can be extreme, they are not medically harmful in and of themselves. The key is understanding that it is a panic attack and what to do when one is happening.

First, panic attacks and panic disorder itself are sudden, and severe anxiety attacks. Panic attack symptoms include:

Intense fear or worry
Impending sense of death or doom
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling out of control
Shortness of breath/difficulty breathing
Chest pain
Sweating/having the chills
Dizziness
Numbness or tingling in extremities
Rapid, pounding heartbeat
Feeling lightheaded or fainting
Nausea

To meet the criteria for a diagnosis of panic disorder, the individual must experience repeated panic attacks over a short period of time. It is possible to have a single panic attack, and then never have another one, or to have them infrequently.

What causes panic attacks? Panic attacks occur when the level of stress or anxiety in an individual’s life becomes very intense and overwhelming. The typical coping mechanisms for stress become overwhelming and stop functioning normally. Each person responds to high levels of stress and anxiety differently, and what one person is able to manage, may completely overwhelm another. This is not a judgement of strength, or character, but simply a medical fact.

There is strong evidence for a genetic basis for a predisposition to anxiety disorders. If you have close family members with anxiety, you may be more prone to develop an anxiety disorder.

Living with a high level of stress for an extended period of time may also lead to developing panic disorder. If this is you, seek help now, learn ways to productively manage your stress before it becomes a debilitating panic disorder. Talking to a mental health professional, and learning coping methods can turn your life around, and back towards happiness.

How can someone deal with anxiety and panic disorder? It is possible to learn how to cope with, and overcome, panic disorder. The first thing needed is education. People need to know this is a medical condition where their nervous system is misfiring, and they are not in any medical danger. Another way to manage this condition is with medication; anti-anxiety medication helps lessen anxiety symptoms and lowers chances for future attacks. Lastly, talk therapy can be used to help understand what is going on, what triggers there may be, and ways to calm once the panic attack is starting. Simple breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, and reassuring self-talk is very helpful in overcoming panic attack, or anxiety attack, symptoms.

Panic disorder is treatable with a high success rate. There are a variety of methods and approaches available. The important thing is to act sooner, rather than later. If you, or a loved one, are experiencing symptoms of anxiety, or panic disorder, reach out to a mental health professional.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this post and any associated articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect opinions or policies of eTherapyPro. These posts and articles are shared for your enjoyment and consideration. Read them or not at your sole discretion and liability. They are not intended to replace counseling services rendered by licensed professionals. Consult with your counselor before implementing any content from these articles into your life.

Sep 15 2018

Relaxation Techniques to Cope with Anxiety

Learning e ffective anxiety relaxation techniques is an important part of coping with stress and anxiety disorders. Relaxation techniques alone won’t cure anxiety. They can help reduce your anxiety during times of high stress, and the less anxiety you experience, the easier it is to cope with in your day to day life.

What It Takes

There are several techniques for fighting anxiety. Many people wonder whether these anxiety reduction techniques do work, or if they’re simply a placebo. The reality is that relaxation exercises do work, but they take a level of commitment that not everyone is ready for.

One of the reasons that more people don’t use relaxation exercises is because they haven’t seen results when they’ve tried them in the past. The truth is that everyone can benefit from these relaxation techniques. Fighting anxiety with relaxation exercises is different than taking medication; this takes preparation and repetition. Here is what you need to know going in:

Make sure you commit to it. Most relaxation techniques take several weeks to master. It can be hard to simply pick up and expect results because in the beginning your mind is just focused on doing everything right. But later, when you’ve had enough experience, it becomes second nature, and the relaxation starts to take effect.
Stay open minded with a positive attitude. All stress reduction techniques may look and feel a little silly at first, especially if you’ve never done them before, but in the end, you’ll find that they have the effect you’ve been looking for.
Give yourself at least 20 minutes every day, and make sure that you’re as comfortable as possible – in a comfortable chair, with comfortable clothes, at a comfortable temperature.

Deep Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises are the foundation of many other relaxation techniques and are very easy to learn. These exercises work to help you breathe slowly and deeply, which can allow you to feel more relaxed. Breathing exercises have been known to have a cleansing effect, making you feel energized and refreshed. Deep breathing also brings your focus and attention to the breathing process, therefore clearing your mind and helping you to control the rhythm of your breath. These exercises can assist with reducing muscle tension, along with improving other common symptoms of anxiety, such as decreasing rapid heart rate and managing shortness of breath.

Visualization

Visualization is a powerful way to let go of stress and anxiety. Through visualization, you use your imagination to picture yourself in a more calming and serene environment, such as at a beach or in a flower-covered meadow. Visualization works to relax your body and soothe your thoughts. By simply seeing yourself in a more rejuvenating setting, you can allow your mind and body to feel as though you are there.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is an effective anxiety reducing technique that involves decreasing the tension throughout your body while calming any anxious thoughts. PMR involves tightening and releasing various muscle groups to lessen bodily tension. By focusing your attention on letting go of stress throughout the body, you are also able to quiet and calm your mind. When practiced over time, PMR can help you recognize when your muscles are constricted and more easily release physical discomfort that is contributing to your anxiety.

Yoga and Meditation

Many people find yoga and meditation to be useful ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Yoga can help you to let go of tension throughout the body, improve concentration and relax. Meditation can be used alone or as part of a yoga practice and is also a great way to assist you in feeling more balanced, calm, and focused. These relaxation techniques can be practiced upon waking to relieve and reduce morning anxiety and start the day feeling refreshed. They can also be used at the end of the day to let go of any built-up stress and tension. Another way to think of meditation is prayer and quiet contemplation.

Relaxation techniques can give you a great amount of relief from anxiety and stress. Treatment will be the next step, but these suggestions are something you can begin right now, to reduce the impact that anxiety disorders are having upon your life.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this post and any associated articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect opinions or policies of eTherapyPro. These posts and articles are shared for your enjoyment and consideration. Read them or not at your sole discretion and liability. They are not intended to replace counseling services rendered by licensed professionals. Consult with your counselor before implementing any content from these articles into your life.

Sep 12 2018

Social Anxiety Disorder – What Is It?

Many people are nervous when meeting new people, or speaking in public. There are very few people that actually enjoy the idea of speaking in front of a crowd, whether for work or your best friend’s wedding. This is a typical response of mild anxiety that in some ways helps you as it can let you know how important it is and motivates you to prepare and practice. This is not Social Anxiety Disorder.

Social Anxiety Disorder, also called Social Phobia, is debilitating anxiety that reaches a point where it interferes with daily life and actively prevents a person from doing normal day-to-day things, like taking the bus, speaking when called on in class, or talking to their boss. This anxiety disorder will keep a person home from work, they will avoid going out, and will work actively to minimize any social contact they have.

Although the causes are not clear, the experience is generally similar for most people with this disorder. They are extremely fearful of standing out and being judged. They have a negative view of themselves, are certain they will be viewed negatively and receive some type of punishment for it. They feel like they are on the spot, or on display at all times, and people are always watching them and judging them. From all this they will actively avoid social situations as much as possible.

What the anxiety feels like and how they respond to it similar to other anxiety disorders, but there are some symptoms specific to this particular disorder. The signs and symptoms of social anxiety can include:

Blushing, sweating, or trembling
Rapid heart rate
Mind goes blank, leaving you unable to respond to others
Feel nauseous or sick to the stomach
Rigid body posture
Make little eye contact
Speak with an overly soft voice
Find it scary and difficult to be with other people, especially those they don’t already know, and have a hard time talking to them even though they wish they could
Very self-conscious in front of other people and feel embarrassed and awkward
Very afraid that other people will judge them
Stay away from places where there are other people
Anxious or fearful when thinking of, or discussing, social situations
Desire to stay as “invisible” as possible in social situations

It’s easy to see there are some more standard signs of anxiety in there, like worry, stomach reactions, rapid heartbeat, but there are also more specific responses like the meekness, the desire to become invisible in social situations, and always feeling in the spotlight. This is a painful experience over and above simple shyness.

This illness limits some of the basic human needs, hindering work, and cutting a person off from friends and family. It is painful, but it can be treated. Reaching out for help is the first step, and as with the other anxiety disorders, the sooner treated, the better the prognosis. Social anxiety disorder can be effectively treated by mental health professionals such as a therapist, psychiatrist, or online counselor.

An online counselor maybe the best solution for a person suffering with social anxiety. Online therapy programs allow a person to communicate with a professional from the comfort of home, without the need to travel, or deal with a busy office.

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Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this post and any associated articles are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect opinions or policies of eTherapyPro. These posts and articles are shared for your enjoyment and consideration. Read them or not at your sole discretion and liability. They are not intended to replace counseling services rendered by licensed professionals. Consult with your counselor before implementing any content from these articles into your life.